You can put cheese up there, but the mice remain

I dont have a real excuse. So will just make some up. Pick the one you like most.

1. I have been held prisoner for the last 4 months in Gyles Brandreths porn dungeon.
2. I have been camped out on Wimbledon Common, trying to capture a Womble (so that I can hump it)
3. Having a very long wank.
4. Digging a series of tunnels (with a spork) under London so that I can start my rival tube service.
5. Trapped inside the freezer ailse of Sainsburys, forced to live on frozen peas and uncooked Chicago Town Pizzas.
6. In purgotory.
7. Recovering from a severe paper-cut.
8. Recording a new concept album with the remaining members of Shawaddywaddy.
9. Became the new face of Anusol.
10. Training dolphins to make cheese on toast.

1st. published 19th Maytumber.
As they say 1st impressions count,

In order of their entries

1. Bonnie – The Spam Bag

2. Pete - Trampy Clown slacks

3. George – Sir Squashee Conk-a-Lot

4. Shabazz – Wee Jock McGonky

5. Leia – Old Bits Barbie

6. Imogen – Charlotte Lurch

7. Mikey – MopTop-Photo-Shop

8. Dawn – Misreable Dusktill

9. Glynn – Captain Icklewinkle

10. Richard – The Mincing Mountie

11. Grace – Daddies Dearest Muppet

12. Lisa – Wung Wong Number

13. Sezsar – The Cheese-Tsar

14. Nikki - Spackflaps

15. Ashleen - The Cock-Hopper

16. Sam - Whaddafu...

17. Suzi - Mutton dressed as spam

18. Jonathan - Dark Meat

19. Spiral - The Scanger

20. Jennie - Joey from the 80's BBC sitcom "Bread"'s baby

21. Mike - The Bike

22. Jayne - The Guntess

One of the perks of my very soon to be ex-job is free tickets to the Biggin Hill Air Fair, while the flight display is amazing it’s the congregated display of plane enthusiasts that truly astounds me.
A strange breed, rarely seen out of its natural habitat (indoors alone or at an airport car-park alone) the air fair is an opportunity for this bizarre strain of gonk to meet en-masse.

It’s not easy getting photographs of the lesser spotted plane spotter, they move very quickly between the airfix model peddlers and crap cap vendors. The glorious Boo helped a great deal in getting these shots with her shouts of MUNT HUNT whenever a contender was in snapping range. Here are the top 3

Crazy-Eyes Catweezle

It was sweltering, and he has a fleece on both his back and face so gets points for that. The laser beam eyes nearly won me over, but then we saw….

Dr. Darts

In 2001 the world wildlife fund designated the mullet and moustache combination an endangered species, we were pleased to see that this rare specimen has found a mate with an equally freaky frightwig.

Helmut Wang

A surprise German entry and 2006’s clear winner. What can I say? His confidence in his gonkery is 1st class, from the dedicated Ferrari branding, to the frizzy fuzz bonnet peeping cheekily from under the cap. You know that he left the house thinking to himself “Helmut, you look shit hot today”

BWB

Gonk
Part Nerd, Part Geek.

Gurning
Can’t help it, I have one of those faces.

Gangly
Always falling over my own bloomin feet.

Generous
Will always help if I can, you just need to ask me.

Gregarious
Like to put myself about.

Gimp
Only in Blogland though.

Gentlemanly
Won’t catch me wiping it on the curtains afterwards.

Git
Sometimes I am, suspect that applies to all of us from time to time though.

Gippo
I come from the bit of Kent where the knackers from “Snatch” reside, and can speak fluent Pikee.

Glad
That there are still some nice people out there.